In the future we'll all be gay
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
