Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
