i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize