I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
