I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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