Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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