You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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