you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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