My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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