Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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