At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
