Sponge bath it is.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize