I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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