Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
BRING THE BAGELS
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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