i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My pussy is not your playground.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
