So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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