We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
