508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
