wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
