this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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