why didn't you poke me back
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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