I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
