Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how can u be prego again
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
