Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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