So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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