At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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