so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
