did you get engaged???
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
