Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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