He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Your cock deserves a montage
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize