oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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