My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
