yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
