she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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