guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
