I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
BRING THE BAGELS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize