he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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