we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize