I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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