just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
