I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
