How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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