i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he was CRYING into my vagina
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
