if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize