I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
