dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
