I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
