i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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