I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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