I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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