genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize