my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
