you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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