I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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