I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
