my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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