I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
