Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
