He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
