We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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