shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Hippo gnu deer
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
