My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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